Chester, England
December 2036
Holly Cullen
Ten months one week and two days.
That’s how long I'd been living with Christian’s family now in England. I had friended his elder sister Evie immediately. We were closer than I thought possible for someone that wasn’t supernatural or related to me. She was exactly my kind of person and exactly who I needed to get through the heartbreak I still felt every day. I had been through the denial stage, the self-loathing stage, the grief and the blaming. Now I was just trying to move on from the pain, live my life through it and what better way than going to university. Evie begged me to come with her. With a few phone calls from my grandfather, he managed to get me into the university she was going to in the October. I had the grades from high school a few years ago it was just the admission process into a British university that was the problem.
I never planned on college, but I knew it was a good opportunity for distraction and a place to make friends. Plus, Evie was fun to be around.
At college, my roommate was a girl called Madi. She introduced me to her brother Noah and we immediately hit it off. And by that, I mean, he was a great rebound. The feeling was mutual. His last girlfriend had cheated on him and because I was unable to explain the supernatural bond of an imprint, I told him that my ex had cheated on me too. We bonded easily and got on well, both entering the relationship with mutual understanding it was a rebound for both of us and meant barely anything.
It was hard at first, letting him even touch me without having flashbacks of Jason. It just felt wrong, like it was the wrong pair of hands on my body. Eventually, I managed to push the thoughts away and focus on the act itself rather than who it was with.
Madi was in full support but Evie was conflicted with the whole idea. She knew that I had a thing with her brother and worried what this would mean for him, but at the same time understood that the version of who I was right now wasn’t good enough for Christian Wright. He deserved better. He deserved a much better version of me than who I currently was. I still thought about Jace far too often, and often during sex. I didn’t want Christian to be on the receiving end of that. He deserved me at my best, not the absolute train wreck I currently was. He didn’t deserve a broken version of me. I wanted to be with him when I could give him everything. In the months after Jace, I was so broken sometimes I wasn’t sure I was ever going to be okay again. Ten months later, I was slowly and surely getting better, Jace’s name didn’t bring instant pain to my heart but it didn’t mean I didn’t miss him every day.
“So, are you heading home for Christmas?” Noah asked me. I rolled over to look at him topless beside me. I watched as his abs lifted under his breathing under a daze.
“to the states?” I asked for confirmation and he nodded.
“no.” I said instantly. “I’ll go home with Evie.” It would be my first Christmas, and birthday, that I hadn’t spent with my parents or family but I knew I couldn’t stomach the idea of returning to La Push yet. Even though I felt like I had moved on from Jace now, the mere thought of seeing him worried me. On the other hand, Oliver and Scarlett had become my family. I was excited to see their traditions and spend the holiday with them. They had opened their arms and treated me like a daughter the second I walked in their front door. They loved me, and I loved them. I wanted to be with them just as much as my own family in America. I was fairly sure they were the only reason my parents hadn’t dragged me back to the states. They knew I was safe and they knew I was loved.
“Your uncles house?” he asked, and I nodded, agreeing with the cover story. It was just easier to say Evie and I were related in this situation. Evie and Christian’s dad Oliver named himself as my guardian and I didn’t want to have to lie too much about having a dead family or anything, so the uncle story just worked. Both Noah and Madi knew I had parents and siblings in the states, Afterall my accent gave me away the second I opened my mouth but I just told them that I wanted a British uni experience and they took the story without any questions.
“what about you?” I asked Noah. Both him and Madi were foster kids. They didn’t have parents or a home. He said his last set of parents kicked them out when they announced they wanted to go to uni. They stayed with a friend until it was time to move into dorms.
“we’re hoping the chancellor is going to agree that we can stay”
“I hope so too” I said sadly right as my alarm buzzed for me to get ready for class.
“we’ll work something out” he smiled at me as I dressed. I said bye to him as I head to my first class of the day. I shared it with Evie and immediately shared with her what was going on with Madi and Noah.
“they’re coming home with us” she said instantly.
“they are?” I asked with a frown.
“well as soon as I tell my parents and them of course” she added with a smile.
“I can’t imagine not having a home to go to” I frowned sadly.
“my parents won’t say no. they’re the most charitable people I know. They already have 1 extra kid, what’s two more?” she winked at me and I smiled at her generosity.
Madi and Noah were eternally grateful. They kept saying thank you to Evie like she was giving them a winning lottery ticket. My heart ached at their gratitude over something as simple as a roof and food. After that I started buying extra food for the house we were in and topping up Madi’s purse with an extra bill every now and then when she wouldn’t notice.
When it came to Christmas the both of them were more excited than Evie and I put together.
The first semester of university had been the most fun I’d had in a while. Noah was a great rebound and also a genuinely nice guy. Although it had started as something else, we had fallen into a good routine and I was gradually unlearning Jace’s touch and mannerisms. Noah and I weren’t the only ones that were getting along, Madi and Evie were two peas in a pod. There was something so fundamentally wonderful about human friendships and I was grateful for the time I had to be a part of theirs. The biggest regret up to this point was that I should have told Christian about Noah. I spoke to him most days; he didn’t want to come to college with us because he knew I still needed space to heal and move on. He was the perfect gentleman. It was no secret that there was something strong between us. We had felt it the day we met and every time I saw him my heart soared but he knew that my relationship with Jace was the most impactful thing I had probably ever experienced and knew I wasn’t ready for anything serious again so soon so he was waiting, no pressure, never really speaking about it, just being there as my friend.
I guess I was ashamed. Ashamed that I needed this to feel like I was moving on, but also because I really didn’t want to hurt Christian. It was honestly the last thing on this planet I wanted to do, and I hoped he’d understand the pseudo-relationship I had with Noah.
I’d been wrong of course. There was only so much understanding a teenage boy could do. We arrived at the Wright’s family home late in the evening. We had driven all the way here. The four of us had crammed into Evie’s little car the whole way here.
Arriving at the house, Noah immediately pulled the doors open for me and Madi on the left side of the car and reached to kiss my cheek after literally not being in touching distance for six hours. I smiled at him in response as he took my hand. I planned to let go before we entered the house, but it was already too late. A figure moved from the top floor window and I knew. I just knew he’d been waiting there for me and his sister to get home.
I immediately felt like the biggest bitch in the world.
Holly. Stop it. Avia scolded me. It was early in the states. She had just woken up.
I’m a horrible person. I said sadly as we made our way into the house. Madi and Noah were gushing over the size of the six-bedroom home owned by Evie’s family.
You don’t owe him anything you know, that right? He’s not entitled to be your next boyfriend. He’s not entitled to be anything more than a friend until you say you’re ready. You told him before you left for uni that you weren’t ready for him yet. You didn’t mention once about not trying other relationships out.
She’s right Hol. Lidiya chimed in.
As the door opened, we all filed into the hall where everyone was waiting to greet us. I saw Christian looking at me the second I walked into the house. I wanted to run to him, tell him it wasn’t what he thought but I could barely look at him. I saw Evie go over to him when he walked out the room. I knew I couldn’t be selfish with this. Personally, it was a bad idea to have Noah and Madi here but the humanitarian in me couldn’t see them homeless or even at the dorms over Christmas. They deserved to be here. I had to put aside my personal life.
I introduced Noah and Madi to Scarlett and Oliver and they were shown around the house and where they would be staying. I found myself trying to find Christian and Evie. I found them in the music room, and he looked solemn.
“Christian,” Evie sighed before her eyes fell on me at the door. He pivoted to look at me too, his poker face in place.
“Nothing’s going to happen. I wouldn’t do that to you.” I said walking over to him. I had already warned Noah that I wouldn’t sleep with him under my ‘uncles’ house and that I had more respect than that for my family. He was completely okay with that. It hadn’t really been Oliver that I worried about. It was Christian.
“It was my idea Christian; they have no family.” Evie explained to her brother.
“I know I’m fine, honestly,” he said giving me a smile. “I’m glad you’re both home,” he said and left the room. I sighed as I turned to Evie, she had a look of concern on her face that I’m sure mine mirrored.
This was going to be an interesting few weeks.
Noah and Madi settled well, Scarlett and Oliver adored them, so did Evie’s sister’s Lily and Jess. I tried my best to stay out of the way, especially with Noah in the room. I wanted no excuse for Christian to see us together in any way.
It was night of Christmas eve and I heard the music playing from the music room and made my way in recognising the style of play. It was Christian, he had been taught by my father during one of the weeks my parents had visited.
I stood at the door and watched. He played a variation of Clair De Lune and I couldn’t help but smile.
He looked up from the piano and smiled back.
“Come join me,” he said, and I sighed as I walked across the room.
“I’m not as good as you or my dad” I said sitting next to him on the bench.
“I disagree,” he turned to grin at me and placed his hands on the ivories. I copied and waited for him to start before I started to play the melody. Nearly all of Edward Cullen’s close descendants had been taught piano but not all of us found the joy he or my aunt and dad did in it. After learning as a child, I didn’t play much again after that. I was rusty but I hadn’t forgotten how to at least.
Playing next to Christian was like electricity. Every moment, every note, every time his hand brushed mine it was like nothing I had ever experienced. We finished and I realised I had been holding my breath the entire time. I started to breathe again, and I could see out of the corner of my eye he was watching me. I turned to look at him and the piece had moved us closer on the bench, we were only centimetres away from each other. I could feel his breath on my face and his scent surrounded me. His eyes fell to my lips and I closed the distance for him, kissing him softly. His hand rested on my jaw, holding me close to him.
I pulled away resting my forehead against his and I just looked at his closed eyes for a moment. It was barely more than a peck but I knew I had to stop it then or I never would.
“not yet” I whispered barely audible. Any human wouldn’t have heard it.
“I know. You’re not ready” he sighed and created some distance between us. He smiled bittersweetly and then his head whipped to the door. I followed his gaze, but no one was there. Before I could reply to him and tell him that wasn’t the case, he continued.
“I’m going to go hunting. I’ll see you tomorrow” he said abruptly, standing and making the way to the door. He paused for a moment with his back to me. He turned after a moment and his eyes locked on me. The old grandfather clock in the front entry way chimed midnight. It was Christmas Day.
“Happy birthday Holly” he whispered and before I could reply the same to him, he left. I sighed, pivoting back on the bench to the piano. I started to play my favourite piece to learn as a child that was composed by my grandfather. As I finished, I realised I was crying, my tears blurred my vision and I played with my hands from pure muscle memory.
“that was beautiful” Oliver said from the door. I turned, quickly wiping my tears away he made his way over to me and sat next to me, his arms opening, and I leant into him. He hugged me and I had to choke back a sob. I missed my dad and family a lot, I missed my life, before it all went to shit. I missed Jace. My god I missed Jace. Oliver didn’t say anything he just held me, and I sat there feeling the comfort of a father. Oliver reminded me a lot of my dad and that helped immensely with the home sickness.
“thank you” I whispered, and he kissed my hair.
“Anytime, you’ll always be a daughter to me, whatever you decide, wherever you are. We’re bound by blood, by magic and what you and my son are” He said. I smiled and kissed his cheek right as Evie came into the room.
“I’m off to bed. But mum said she needs your help dad” she called, and he smiled at me again before standing to leave. I followed him and walked up to Evie. She frowned at my probably very blotchy face.
“Go call him. It will make you feel better.”
“Will it?” I asked with a sigh.
“He was your best friend.”
“He still is,” I said as a reflex. In reality, I didn’t really know if Jace and I would ever be able to return to what we were, but I hoped we could. I needed that hope to get through the pain of it all.
“Go talk to him.” She said and gave me a quick hug. I made my way up to the room I shared with Evie whilst Noah and Madi were staying with us. I took out my American phone from my bedside table and opened the phonebook.
Living here was rather lonely. I still had my sisters in my head but with the eight-hour time difference, most of my day they were asleep. I missed the constant support of their minds. My phone said it was four pm in Washington now. If I was lucky Jace would be just leaving work.
I had a few missed calls from him and that made my heart ache. All my family had my English cell phone number, but I told them not to give it to Jace.
I dialled it, my hand shaking. I hadn’t spoken to him in nearly a year.
He answered on the first ring.
“Hey Hol” his voice filled me with emotion. My eyes closed as I fought back tears.
“Hi Jace” I whispered.
“I miss you” he said quickly.
“Me too” I answered softly.
“So, how are you?” he asked, and it was like nothing had ever changed. We started talking like old times, I caught him up on my college plans, the friend’s I’d made, the culture differences and what it’s like to live in England. He told me about his job, the pack, what he’s been up to but never once mentioned Erin’s name. I didn’t mention Christian or Noah either. It was like old times and it filled me with a sense of joy I hadn’t felt in a while. That was the first of many phone calls between me and Jace that eventually repaired our friendship completely.
The conversation with Jace made me feel better. It also made me feel better about what I was doing. Noah had been exactly what I needed him to be. Christian couldn’t be mad with me wanting to protect him. I didn’t want Christian to be my rebound. I wanted him to be my forever.
I found him on the top floor. The attic had been made into a den and he was sitting in the centre of the pillows a book in his hand. He looked up at me over the page and quickly looked down. I moved over to him cautiously. We were so close and yet the past few weeks we were like strangers.
“Happy birthday,” I told him. It was early the next morning now. After talking to Jace for hours I managed to get a couple hours sleep before my subconscious screamed at me to go find Christian. It was also screaming at me that it was Christmas day and my birthday. Of course, that meant it was his too.
“Christ-“ I began but he interrupted me.
“I can’t do this Holly” he sighed angrily lowering his book.
“I know I’m sorry” I said reaching him. “I’m not trying to hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you. When I came here, I knew I wanted to be near you, but I also knew I wasn’t ready for you. I missed my old life. I needed to come to terms with it not being me anymore. I needed time to find myself, to stop mourning a relationship. You didn’t deserve to be my rebound. You deserve better than me Christian. You deserve me when I’m not broken. I refused to have you be my rebound Christian. I was too fucked up to be in a normal functioning relationship” I said fighting back tears.
“You do know I love you no matter what right? Fucked up or not.” He said pivoting to look at me. His anger gone.
“I know.” I sighed and instinctively moved closer to him.
“I understand you need time Holly. I saw you with him, I saw you both. You deserve to grieve, to fool around, to have fun and forget about it all. To discover who you are without him. I am sorry my presence has made you feel guilty or confused.” He said softly and I just wanted to hug him and tell him it didn’t and that I loved him too, but I just couldn’t.
“You know you’re my one.” I confirmed.
“I do” he said with a smirk. I smiled back. “But you need time, you need me out of your life just as much as you needed him out,” he said, and I couldn’t help the panic.
“No, no I don’t. I need you in it. I do.”
“Holly I’m not breaking up with you,” he chuckled slightly. “I just can’t watch you with someone else. Not again,” he said sadly.
“He means nothing to me. Not like you.” I responded.
“I know,” he said turning to smile at me. Our eyes locked and we stared at each other for what felt like forever. My heart soared at how much I loved him. I gently leant forward. My forehead resting on his. His eyes closed at our proximity.
“I’m going to marry you one day Mr Wright,” I whispered against his lips and he grinned, his eyes opening and locked with mine.
“I fully plan on it,” he said, giving me a quick peck. “But for now, enjoy being Holly Cullen. We have endless amounts of time to work on the Wright part,” he said with a wink as he leant forward to kiss me again. This one was slightly more heated than the last little peck. His hands went under my pyjama top, his skin touched my waist and it was like a fire spread through me. We didn’t manage to get to the making out part though. It was barely more than a normal kiss, when…
“What the fuck?” I heard his voice and span around to see Noah’s top half of his body in the attic watching me and Christian. He immediately disappeared. Heading back down the ladder.
“How the hell did we not know he was there?” I sighed.
“I can’t say I pay attention to anything around me when you’re this close to me,” Christian sighed.
“Tell me about it,” I stood up adjusting my top back and making my way over to the ladder.
“Noah, what’s wrong?” I heard Evie ask him as I climbed down the stairs to see him spiralling. He turned to look at me before giving me the evilest look, and making his way down the stairs.
“Holly?” she asked right as Christian followed down behind me. “Fuck” she mumbled. Realising what must have happened.
“Yeah” I sighed as I watched him descend the stairs. “Noah!” I shouted down.
“He’s your cousin!” He yelled back and headed to the door. It was cold outside. Snow was coating the windows and he wasn’t dressed in much.
“I’ll go after him,” Evie said heading to the stairs.
“I feel like I should explain,” I said sadly.
“Holly. Let me talk to him okay? Then you can try.” She said as she left me standing with Christian on the landing. The family had congregated in the living area around the tree ready to open presents and I had just made the rest of these two weeks here incredibly awkward.
“Holly,” Christian whispered, his hands going to my waist in comfort. My mind told me to move away, to stop betraying Noah but my heart melted into him. I turned and buried my face into his shoulder. His arms wrapped around my body and I felt safe. I felt relaxed. I felt like I belonged here. Like the man holding me was exactly who I needed this whole time.
I had been an idiot.
Yet again. I’d made another stupid decision.
My sisters were asleep, so I had no consciousness telling me otherwise.
Christian held me softly, not saying anything, just holding me. I pulled my head back to look at him.
“Are you sure you want to be with someone that falls for a guy that was never hers and cheats on guys that were only ever good to her?” I mused. I expected a signature smirk, but he kept a very serious face on as he replied.
“More than anything in the world,” he replied. I sighed, letting my head fall and my forehead rest on his chest.
The sound of the door slamming pulled us apart.
I headed down the stairs with speed. Evie stood alone and I felt defeated.
“You can go talk to him now,” she said to me as she shook off the snow from her shoes. I headed straight to the door and was aware of Evie and Christian making their way into the family room where their family was waiting for us to join them.
I found Noah on the bench in the front garden. I walked over to him shivering from the cold. I should have grabbed a jacket or something, but I tried to focus on the situation. He sighed and his arm wrapped around me. He pulled me into his side.
The gesture nearly made me break down into tears. I swallowed them back. How could I have hurt such a nice guy? He deserved so much better than me.
“So, Evie explained a few things to me. She told me that you’re not really her cousin.” He said.
“That’s true, yes. I’m not related to them at all. My dad is just a friend of Oliver.” I explained.
“And Christian? You and he have had a thing since you were a kid?” he asked.
“No.” I said, I didn’t want to lie. I couldn’t.
“No?” He asked with a frown. He thought I was lying. I didn’t blame him.
“I met Christian when I was still in my last relationship. I’ve known him for a few years now, that part is true. We had an immediate connection. Like out of this world, love at first sight, forever, sort of connection but at the time I was in love with Jace too and we had an established relationship.” I explained.
“So why didn’t you go to him after your breakup with Jace?” he asked with a frown.
“Because I didn’t want him to be my rebound. There’s a reason I went into our relationship with complete honesty about Jace. You knew from the start what we were and that we were very unlikely to get over our baggage enough to manage a true relationship. I couldn’t do that with him. He wanted the real thing, the full devotion, complete admiration love. I was in no place to give that.”
“I understand that,” he whispered hugging me closer to him. “I just wish I’d known you had someone waiting for you. That I had someone else’s girl.”
“I know. I’m so so sorry. I should have told you. I know that. I just never expected you to ever meet him,” I tried to justify myself.
“There’s one thing I’m sure about though.” He responded.
“What?”
“I think my job is done”
“I understand you want to break up with me. I expect nothing less” I said sadly.
“No. I’m not breaking up with you. You’re breaking up with me, because you’re finally ready for him.” He said strongly.
“I didn’t say that,” I said trying not to hurt him anymore.
“No but I’m saying it. I just saw you together. Nothing existed in that room except him. Did you think about Jace at all when you were with him?” he asked turning to look at me at his side.
“No, I didn’t,” I whispered.
“Then maybe you’re ready to be with him now.” He smiled down at me.
“Did you know that you’re one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met?” I chuckled. He grinned back.
“I just try not to be an ass. I like to look at situations from all angles and understand it from other perspectives. It was either that or turn into the little shit foster kid everyone expects me to be,” he explained.
“Your ex made a huge mistake. You’re going to make someone very happy one day,” I praised him.
“Thanks for helping me heal Hol. I’m sorry I got so angry at you. I knew you weren’t mine from the start. I just reacted too quickly.”
“No Noah. I was a bitch for doing that to you. I should never have done it knowing what you went through. It is unforgivable and I will regret it forever,” I said painfully as I saw his kind face look down at me.
“Oh, give it up. Let’s go open presents,” he grinned as he stood off the bench and held out his hand. I smiled and followed him back into the Wright house.
The next week I avoided both men. I stayed with Evie or Madi or one of Christian’s younger sisters. I wasn’t going near Christian out of respect for Noah and Noah and I were officially done that was for sure.
It was new years eve. Evie, Christian, Noah and Madi and I decided to go to one of the local new year’s parties being held at one of the clubs. I had no plan on kissing anyone that night but as the bells of Big Ben tolled in London on the big screen my eyes were on Christian. He had just hugged Evie and Madi and Noah were out of sight somewhere else celebrating. I stepped towards him, my arms going to his neck and I leant up to kiss him strongly. It erupted a fire in my stomach, the kindling I felt when I first kissed him in the club in Seattle all those years ago was nothing compared to this. Christian knew what he was doing now, he kissed me back, wrapping his arms around me securely so I couldn't move, and his moon pool strength held me as close as possible to him. It was certainly more heated than your average new year's kiss but no one around us was paying attention and although it was heated, it only lasted a few seconds. I pulled away, slightly in awe of him. He grinned down at me, a smile that I hadn't seen since the first time I ever took him to a club.
I knew after that moment I couldn’t let him go again. This was it. I was all in now. I was his. Forever.
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I might write about how she was turned one day in the future but at the moment im focusing on getting everything already listed out. I was originally having Christian's older 3 sisters die as humans, but writing this, Evie's character really started to develop in my mind and i didnt want to kill her. The other two still canonly live and die a human.
I love this so much
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