Diamond Legacies: Part 5

Part 5 

Ivana 

I felt my whole world had been tipped upside down. I never wanted things to be like this with me and Harvey. I always thought one day id just end it, or he’d get bored and find another mistress. I never expected it to be taken out of my hands.

I had been so angry at Micah, he’d never done something like that before, he’s never taken a choice away from me.

I made it to the hospital by running and went straight to find Carlisle. Luckily, he was in his office. His PA stopped me in my tracks.

“He’s extremely busy. He has three days of work to catch up on. He asked not to be disturbed unless it was an emergency,” she informed me.

“I’m his niece,” I frowned at her.

“He said by anyone.” She mentioned again stopping me from getting to the door.

“Uncle Carlisle!” I called and I know he would have heard me.

“Dr Balev, I’m sorry, I can’t let you in,” the PA insisted as the door opened to see Carlisle standing there.

“It's okay Amelia. Dr Balev can come in, thank you,” he said with a nod to his assistant. She nodded back, moving out of the way for me and I almost fell into the room. I waited for Carlisle to close the door before I started to rant about Harvey and my relationship with him.

“Ivana. Stop.” He said motioning for the sofa. Emotion was overcoming me, the pure panic coursing through me was undiluted fear.

“I’m sorry Carlisle… I just… I know it was wrong but you can’t punish him. You can’t. He’s one of your best doctors. He shouldn’t be on probation for this. I told him it would be okay. I told him I'd protect his job if we were ever found out. I used my relationship with you as leverage. It's all my fault” I said truthfully. I looked down at my hands, my fingers going to the leather and silver bracelet on my wrist. The one that matched the one on Micah’s. It was my symbol of my best friend and it usually helped me when I felt nervous or scared. This time it just made me feel worse. If Micah hadn’t have interfered, I wouldn’t be in this mess.

“Ivana, do you really think I didn’t know what was going on?” he asked. I looked up through my eyelashes to see him smiling softly. “I had to put him on probation due to formality. I don’t want him doing it again with someone else. I#ll drop it today.”

“You knew?” I asked awkwardly.

“Of course, I knew,” he smiled stronger. “I have never been one to interfere with people’s relationships. I figured you have enough people in that head of yours telling you their opinions. I knew eventually you’d work yourself out,” he said then looked down to where I was touching my bracelet.

“Have you spoken to my son recently?” he asked curiously. I frowned, what did he mean?

“Only to argue with him over everything with Harvey.”

“Argue?” he asked in shock.

“Yeah,” I said explaining a short version of what happened. Tears appeared in my eyes at the memory of this morning. We’d never fought like that, I hated it.

“I’m sorry,” I said wiping my tears. I couldn’t believe I was saying all this to the father of the man I just walked out on.

“Ivana, no matter how complicated your relationship gets with my son you are still my niece, you are still my best friends daughter. I will love you even if you never want to see Micah again. I will always support you,” he said softly and I leant into his chest to hug him. He hugged me back.

“I’ll never not want to see him again. He’s my life. But thank you for the vote of support,” I said pulling away to smile at him. He kissed my forehead.

“Go home.” He said with a chuckle. “Mikey has a shift here today right? Have some time to yourself.” He said nodding to the door.

“Thank you,” I said as I made my way over.

“See you tomorrow sweetheart. And no more neuro for a while,” he said with a wink.

“It’s over now I promise,” I said with a nod.

“Good.” He smiled and I left. I made my way straight to neuro to find Harvey to explain everything. When I heard moaning and groaning from the on-call room I felt the urge to vomit. I walked over and opened it. It had the cleaning sign activated on it but without me to lock it, it was of course still open. I guess he hoped the sign would be enough to stop people walking in. I found him in bed with one of the interns. They both turned and gasped when they saw me. My eyes found their way to Harvey's and he looked mortified.

“I just risked everything to protect you. Carlisle is dropping the probation because I just begged for your job. We’re now even. Next time you’re in the shit with my uncle don’t come crying to me. We’re done,” I told him and slammed the door behind me.

“Ivana!” I heard him call as he fumbled to get his clothes. He started to run after me and I felt his hand on my wrist.

“Get off me,” I growled as I turned around.

“I want to explain.”

“Explain what? That not only were you cheating on your wife with me but you were also cheating on your mistress with a girlfriend too? I really don’t care anymore Harvey. I’m gone.”

“No. No. You know it wasn’t like that. It was only you. This… this was just because we broke up. I needed to free the tension. I’ve never been with her before,” he tried to explain.

“At least I had the decency to come to you and tell you it was over and not take the word of a third party.” I glared at him and he tried to argue but I cut him off. “I honestly don’t give a shit.” I said, my face passive of all emotion. “Give her my job. I told you I’m done. Just don’t get caught with this one because I doubt she can talk her way out of it with the chief of the hospital,” I said and snatched my wrist out of his hand.

“Ivana, our promise?” he asked.

“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t admit to being your mistress if someone paid me,” I declared and a few people in the corridor turned their heads. I shrugged and mouthed ‘oops’ at Harvey as I walked away from him.

When I got home Carlisle had been right, Micah wasn’t there. He must have headed out for his shift.

I need help. I put in the joint mind and immediately my sisters were there offering me words of comfort.

You’ve had one hell of a day. Lidiya emphasised.

Just sorting out my own messes I guess. You guys never approved when I was with him anyway. I reminded her.

It doesn’t mean I ever wanted it to end badly for you though.

I know, I know, and it hasn’t, not really. I mean it could have ended worse. At least I had Carlisle.

And Micah. She mentioned.

What did he do? Other than be an arse about it. I scoffed.

Ivana. Micah is the most passive, nonviolent man I’ve ever met and he was seconds away from punching the guy to the floor. Do you really think that was easy for him? You mean more to him than his entire belief system. He was about to flush all that away just to protect you and your honour. I think that’s something for you to think about before he comes home and you yell at him some more.

What do you mean he almost punched him? I asked and she sighed. I saw her memory of this morning, Micah had come to see Jasper at the Volturi for some emotional therapy. Lidiya heard him tell him he nearly punched a human out of anger and he wanted it to go away.

Lidiya what am I supposed to do with that information? I begged my big sister helplessly.

Talk to him. He’s more than just your best friend and you know it.

I collapsed onto my bed and I could still smell Micah on the left side. I rolled over hugging the pillow he had used and closed my eyes. I didn’t plan to sleep but when you’ve worked 3 solid days it sort of takes over you. I woke to the door closing and Micah’s footsteps down stairs. I jumped up quick. As I left my room I pulled my hair into a messy bun and went to find Micah. He was in the lounge, he was sitting on the arm chair his head back and his eyes closed.

“Hey,” I mumbled. His eyes snapped open but he didn’t turn to look at me. “I’m sorry for shouting at you this morning. I know you did that to protect me. Thank you,” I said walking over to him so I was standing next to the chair. He still didn’t look at me, he just sighed.

“You make me crazy you know that right?” he asked his eyes finally finding mine and he smiled. I smiled back slightly and sat on the arm of the chair. He reached for me and pulled me onto his lap and I curled into his shoulder. I closed my eyes at the feel of his arms wrapping around my body.

“I heard you were going to hit Harvey for me,” I chuckled.

“I was.” He clarified. His fingers dancing across the skin of my arm.

“Why? Why would you do that when it’s so against everything you’ve ever believed in?” I asked him.

“Because it was you. You make me question everything, you could make me do anything you wanted and I'd be powerless to you. I’d do anything to protect you. No one hurts you and gets away with it,” he said softly.

“I wasn’t hurt,” I tried to explain but his words hit me like a tonne of bricks. He’d never declared something like that to me before.

“Yes, you were. He shouted at you for not wanting to sleep with him. He didn’t understand you. He didn’t care that you just worked three days straight and needed to sleep. He just wanted his own selfish gain and that hurt you. He hurt what you had together. That’s not okay.” He explained.

“I’ve had lots of partners ruin things before and you’ve never reacted like that,” I pondered.

“Because I’m finally done with it. I’ve watched them come and go and every time they change your soul just a little bit. You try and change yourself for the next one, even to a point of having no relationships with them at all and use them for sex like Harvey and that hasn’t worked either. I’m done watching it happen,” he explained. “You don’t deserve to get this hurt every time,” he added. I nuzzled my nose into his neck and took a deep breath. I was angry at him before for interfering but hearing him explain it to me, seeing the emotion on his face, only solidified his words and actions as that of a protector. He didn’t want to see me hurt and that melted my heart. Perhaps the reason I got hurt every time was because no one was right for me or because I was never truly in the relationship. I never truly wanted that other person because they weren’t him. That was my problem. I didn’t want anyone but him. They were all distractions, distractions from falling for my best friend.

“Maybe we should find each other dates,” I giggled. Our usual deflection when the conversation was serious was humour.

“Oh yeah, like I have time for a woman in between Volturi, surgery and you.” He laughed. “Every woman I’ve ever dated gets jealous of you the second I say your name.”

“That’s because you’re not supposed to open with ‘I live with my very gorgeous smart powerful best friend” I laughed, he laughed with me and I untucked my face to look at him smiling widely. “It’s not my fault they feel so threatened.” I added. His smile dropped slightly as he looked down at me. His eyes were staring into my soul, they danced over my face and I suddenly felt like I couldn’t breathe with him looking at me like that. I quickly broke eye contact and leant my head back on his chest. His hand came to my hair as he began to stroke my scalp.

“You’re my life, and if a girl can’t accept that maybe I’m meant to be alone.” He sighed.

“Oh please, you’ve had two girlfriends in your entire life. Let’s not pretend like your problem is me, your problem is the fact you’re scared they’re not your soul mate because you can’t see your own damn soul,” I sneered, returning the conversation to a more light-hearted manner.

“Well yeah but that’s my problem not yours.”

“It is my problem when you bring it into my relationships.” I reminded him.

“I just want you to be with someone who is good. Who is right, and Ivy you have a really bad radar when picking your other halves,” he chuckled underneath me. I wanted to say it then. I wanted to say because they’re not you but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I do it and this changes. He’s not my best friend anymore, he’s the guy I’ve fallen in love with and I just couldn’t admit that yet. If he didn’t return those feelings I'd ruin what we had. I'd ruin this, and I can’t not have this. I wouldn’t know how to live.

“Can we leave my love life for a while? Let’s just talk about something else.” I said and his hand began to stroke my hair again.

We sat there for a good few hours, chatting about various things, the hospital, the Volturi, our family. I lay on the couch with Micah as we watched an old movie. I don’t know when I fell asleep but I woke as Micah carried me to my room.

“Stay with me again?” I asked him. He nodded without saying a word and climbed into my bed next to me. I curled into his side and was asleep again in minutes.

The sound of my alarm woke me eight hours later. I was expecting to find an empty bed but there he was. I looked up to see his eyes closed but I knew he wasn’t asleep. There was something oddly vulnerable and peaceful about a sleeping Moon Pool Child, like they were not there. He just had his eyes closed, he wasn’t asleep at all. As I silenced the alarm his eyes opened and he rolled to face me.

“Thanks,” I mentioned as I sat up.

“What for?” he asked sitting up against my headboard.

“For staying. Being around you… especially with what’s going on. I don’t know. I just know I wouldn’t have been able to sleep that well without you here to keep me relaxed. I knew you were here and that’s all I needed.” I explained checking the time. We had an hour before we were both due for a twelve-hour shift at the hospital.

“Ivana...” he began softly and something about the tone of his voice sent butterflies in my stomach, it made my heart drop and suddenly I knew what he was going to say.

“Not now,” I said not turning to look at him.

“What?” he asked confused, I heard him shift on the bed to get a look at my face but I just couldn’t face him. I didn’t want to hear the words, he was going to say one of two things and I wasn’t sure if I was ready for him to let me down gently or to tell me he loved me. I didn’t want us to change either way. I didn’t want for him to just not be here one day. To have left me because we ruined it.

“I can’t… I can’t talk about this yet.” I tried to explain. “I… I know what you’re going to say but I can’t deal with it. Not yet. Not with what’s going on.” I sighed. I felt his hand on the small of my back. His lips were at my shoulder as he kissed my shoulder blade just once.

“Okay,” he whispered and the sensations stopped. It felt like my life support had withdrawn and I wanted to take it all back in that instant. I span around to find him gone from my room and I groaned in frustration as I fell face first into my bed that only smelt of him.

I didn’t see him at all that day during our shift, it was like he was purposely ignoring me.  The aching feeling in my stomach from the avoidance was killing me more than the ‘what if’ butterflies. Being that we were both on call that night we probably wouldn’t see each other the next day either.

I’m an idiot. I thought to my siblings.

You are. Anelie agreed with me.

You’re not supposed to agree Annie. Holly countered. Sweetie, it will be okay. She reassured me.

Don’t sugar coat it Hol, she should have just said it. He’s in love with her and she’s in love with him. Its blatantly obvious, as it has been for the past ten years! Annie nearly shouted.

Its more complicated than that. I tried to explain to my sister.

It’s really not Ivy. To find a love like that can take a life time. I’m not even sure half of us have found it. He knows your soul. He knows everything about you. He knows how you react to things before even you react and you’re both barely a quarter of a century. That sort of relationship is formed after decades together.

I know. I’ve seen enough immortal relationships to know that. I’m just scared of change. I’m scared of him saying no, or if he does love me, of what if it goes wrong.

It won’t. Holly, Avia, Lidiya and Anelie thought all at the same time.

You do know you have been in a relationship with that man for years, right? You live together, you even sleep together, you tell each other everything, you help each other, laugh with each other, take care of each other. The only thing you don’t do is have sex. That’s it. That man has been your husband for lack of a better word for the past five years. Just because you haven’t been having sex with the man doesn’t mean you’re not in a relationship. You tell each other you love each other, you cry together, you laugh together, he’s the first thing you think of when you wake up and the last when you sleep. Lidiya said.

Don’t you think I know that? Of course, I know that. He just can’t get passed the whole soul mate thing. I sighed in frustration.

Ivana… Avia said softly. You’re deflecting. But apart from that, do you really think he’s bothered that he can’t see his own soul? She asked.

Of course, he is. He mentions the soul mate thing all the time. He can’t see his soul mate.

I don’t think he’s talking about his soul mate Ivana. He’s not afraid of meeting his and not knowing. He’s afraid of meeting yours and you leaving him for them. Avia explained.

That’s ridiculous. I said instantly.

Exactly. It is. Even if one day your soul mate turns up, you have a choice just like we all have as to who we want to be with, soul mates don’t mean romance or weddings. Lidiya and Annie are each other’s soul mates, so are Esther and Eddie. Apart from Lidy and Annie being incest, Esther and Eddie chose other people for their spouses, soul mates don’t mean romance. You have that choice and I think he needs to be reminded of that. Avia continued and I sat there for a moment in realisation. That’s what he was afraid of?

Ivana he can see your soul. He knows you love him. He’s always known. He’s ready to be with you now. You should be ready for him. Lidiya reminded me.

That shook me. How did I not think of that? All this time Micah had known exactly how I felt about him. He wouldn’t have tried to say anything if he didn’t think he returned those feelings, if he wasn’t ready to make this into something more.

I knew then I shouldn’t have stopped him, everything that was going on was a stupid excuse. I had been stupid to turn him away and now he thought I wasn’t ready but I would change that.

I’ll tell him everything because my life has and will always revolve around him and his me, the least we could do was make our relationship official. To say the words at long last.

End of Part 5