Supernova: Bonus Chapter - You know where to find me (Clara Cullen POV)

 A little bit of a different one today. This is a bonus chapter i wasn't originally going to write but i decided i didn't want Axton to be the bad guy for the next few chapters. This chapter shows he is grieving in his own way and is NOT moving on yet but has hope of it one day. I couldn't really show this in the story without actually showing the events because that would take away the drama of the next chapter. So this bonus was born, its also a nice continuation of Just Time.

Clara Cullen

I was walking through a forest I didn’t recognise. The sky above me was dark as if it were night-time but the sun was out, only there was no light emitting from the ball of fire in the sky. It was just there. The other stars in the sky glittered in the dark and the trees around me glowed luminescent. I looked down to see I was wearing a long black cotton dress. I didn’t own one like it and my hair wasn’t the dark brown I had my entire life. It was blonde and auburn and brown. It was a mixture of colours. There was only one person I knew that had hair this colour. Amirah. Axton’s girlfriend. The trees began to move around me, showing me the path to take forward so I followed unsure why the hell I was in someone else’s body in my dream. As I walked figures around me danced, they were shadows, black as the night against the bright green and browns of the trees. They didn’t scare me though, even though I was sure they should have. It was seconds before the shadows started to charge at me, they wrapped themselves around my body. Pain rocked through me as they seemed to swim through me, they latched onto my limps tightening their grip as I fought. I knew I was screaming but I couldn’t wake up. I couldn’t escape this vision.

I had visions as a teenager, around the time Lilim was threatening my family. Esther had said they were a form of prophetic dreams but couldn’t explain why I had them. I hadn’t had one since. But this, this wasn’t just a dream. This felt like it did then. I knew I was dreaming and yet I couldn’t wake myself up. This was trying to tell me something and I had to listen.

A figure came out of the trees, at first, I thought it was Axton. He would always be by Amirah’s side. It had to be him. But the man wasn’t human that walked towards me. He had shadows around him, as if he was controlling them himself. He reached for me and I felt a shock of electricity charge through me. I was immediately connected to the man before me, and the shadows fell to my feet. I felt protected and powerful in the man’s arms, like we could defeat the world. Behind me was a line of wolves all coming to stand with us and the distant sound of a scream woke me from my sleep.

My bedroom was beaming with light. I had forgotten to close my blinds before falling asleep with my favourite book. I climbed out of my bed and took a shower. I felt weird, dirty almost. Even though I knew it was only a dream. I knew I’d have to tell the Volturi, or the very least Axton about the vision but I had no idea what it meant.

As I finished dressing, I sat in front of my mirror. On it lay a picture, a picture printed on paper, of my husband and me as teenagers. My Elijah. So young and carefree. It was before everything changed, before Axton and Lilim. Before I knew how much he was in love with me. Before I knew I couldn’t live without him. But that was back then. We’d had a lifetime together and although he had left me, I was still alive despite it.

It had been three months now. The house was achingly empty without him but everyday felt better than the last. Every day I would see him wherever I turned but every day it was less painful. I filled my day with going back to work. I illustrated books, mostly children’s books and loved it. Getting to use my art for joy was something Elijah always encouraged me to do, and I would continue it for him. Always.

I walked down the stairs to get some breakfast and started to play some old music to sing to as I did. I danced around my kitchen to old Disney songs as I prepared myself some pancakes.

To say the sight of a man lying on my lawn was frightening was an understatement. I paused at the sight and screamed. He sat up suddenly and turned to look at the house. My scream cut off the second I saw Axton’s confused face. When our eyes locked, he just burst into laughter. I scowled at him, threw my pancakes on a plate, and walked out into the morning air to meet him.

“Nice of you to call first,” I said picking up a pancake and eating it like a sandwich. He was still laughing as he reached out and took one of my pancakes. I sat next to him and he lay back on the grass.

“It’s midday. Why are you only just having breakfast?” He asked. I lay next to him and we stared at the sky above us. So clear and blue.

“I had a rough night,” I explained still eating.

“Out on the town already?” He teased but I scoffed.

“No. I had a bad dream.” I explained and turned to look at him at my side. He was still staring at the sky. “What’s wrong?” I asked but part of me already knew. In my dream, Amirah felt incredibly safe with that man. Like he was a part of her. Like they belonged together. I didn’t understand the shadows or the wolves or what it was trying to tell me, but I understood love.

“It happened,” he said barely above a whisper.

“I’m sorry,” I said turning back to look at the sky.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, and I could hear the emotion rolling off his voice. I reached out between us and my hand took his.

We didn’t say anything else. We just lay there in silence. He was breathing deeply to stop himself feeling the emotions I was sure he was suppressing. I lay, my hand in his, trying to comfort him in the only way I knew how. By being there for him.

It was about twenty minutes later when he finally spoke.

“What was your dream about?” he asked. I was sure this was a way to distract himself, but I knew he wouldn’t like the answer.

“I’m not sure you want to know,” I answered him.

“well, it wasn’t a sex dream with your husband, or it wouldn’t have been a bad dream would it?” He asked with his normal laugh. It was a nice sound considering how much pain he must be in.

“It wasn’t about Elijah,” I said softly. “It wasn’t a dream at all I don’t think,” I explained, and he sat up to look at me.

“A vision dream? Like from before?” He asked. And the sun shone behind his head, making him look angelic above me.

“I think so,” I said squinting my eyes at the brightness. I sat up and looked at my hands in front of me. Unable to look at him. “I wasn’t me in my dream. I was Amirah,” I said and finally looked up to see his face. He wore a poker face, with no emotion or reaction.

“Go on,” he said when I paused. I explained what happened, all of it, even what I felt in the dream. He didn’t seem hurt by the information. He just seemed concerned.

“I need to get to the Volturi. You should come with me,” he said standing and holding out his hand for me to follow.

“I knew you were going to say that,” I sighed. “Don’t you think we should wait though? I’m sure she’s fine right now. I’m not sure you should be facing her so soon,” I said scared for his mental health in all of this. He looked like he was about to argue with me, but he paused, as if he was remembering something and then nodded.

“You’re right. The dream only told us what we already knew. It might have a hidden meaning, but Amirah is safe and Zio is still sorting out all the information he has already.” He said nodding as he reasoned behind staying away from the Volturi mansion.

“I promised her I’d stay away for a few days. Maybe you’ll dream something else, something more important,” he said hopeful. I realised then, that although it had happened. Amirah had imprinted and Axton had finally lost her, nothing had changed. He still wanted to protect her, to keep her safe no matter what. He still loved her. I smiled at his devotion. I’d only ever seen this once before on him, and it was his love for his sister.

“Why were you lying on my grass? Why didn’t you come say hi?” I asked wondering why we were standing in my back garden not my nice warm living room.

“Do you remember our first date?” He asked. I laughed and sat back down on the grass.

“It was night, we lay on my lawn and stared at the stars. I didn’t realise then, but you used your magic to clear the sky from the pollution.” I smirked. He sat next to me.

“Yeah, I did,” he said lying back down to look up at the sky.

“It’s daytime now though.” I said wondering why he was bringing it up.

“Mia’s always had a fascination with the sky. With space and stars. Turns out, it might have been her imprint calling to her the whole time.” He said.

“Well, that’s weird,” I mumbled turning on my stomach. I couldn’t look at the sky any longer, it was too bright and blue. “I remember how I would imagine what the world would be like with no pollution. I never thought id live to see the day”.

“Before you knew you were immortal?” he said softly.

“Yeah before… everything,” I mumbled. “Oh, how things have changed,” I chuckled, and I saw him fight a smile. We lay in silence again for a few minutes before either of us spoke again.

“Can I stay here for a while?” He asked in a whisper without looking at me.

“Of course, you can,” I said and moved, closing the foot gap between us and laying at his side. His arm moved so that I was closer to him and we lay together under the fresh air of early afternoon. His arm rested on my waist and my head was on his shoulder. There was nothing romantic, or sexual, or any ulterior motive behind it on either side. It was just friendship. It was comfort. We had both lost the most important person in each of our lives. Every ache was still fresh, and the feeling of being with someone that understood that pain, just for a moment, was pure solace. He stared at the sky and I listened to the steady beat of his heart under my ear. It was strange listening to the strong steady beat of Axton’s heart. It had been so long since I had heard one this close that wasn’t the weak, aging heart of my husband. I didn’t realise it would, but it lulled me into an apparently much needed afternoon nap.

I didn’t have a new vision, only a repeat of the one from before. Only this time after the scream I took off running towards the sound, the man following closely behind me, almost flying and the wolves were on my heels.

“Clara!” Axton was shouting my name as I woke. I was still outside, this time I was sitting up on the grass. Axton was watching me; concern covered his face like I’d never seen before.

“Another vision?” He asked reaching to brush my hair behind my ear. I took a moment to catch my breath before I answered him.

“It was the same one, only this time, Mia chased after the scream.” I explained.

“So, it’s not complete,” he said thoughtfully and relaxed back to a seating position.

“It would seem not, no,” I said my hand going to my head as a headache began to form.

“Are you okay?” He asked, and I saw that concern on his face again.

“Yeah, just a headache.” I said and stood up. He followed me back into my house and I pulled some pills out of my cupboard. We both decided to go watch some old tv for the rest of the afternoon, both barely thinking about what we were watching at all.

“I feel really bad. We should do something fun, to stop you thinking about her with him,” I said realising I had spent all day either asleep or staring at a screen, not exactly being a friend to him.

“No, it’s okay. I just enjoy your company. It’s better than being at that mansion or in La Push,” he said with a smile to me across the room from his couch. We had taken one each, both of us laying along them as we watched movies.

“Okay…” I said unsure how much of it was the truth. “Where is Alena?” I asked him.

“She went home. She left the mansion with me. When… when it happened. I said I was just going to come see you. She followed me to your back yard and then when she was happy I was going to stay, she left.” He explained.

“You should be with her”.

“She has her own life and worries. She doesn’t need mine too. I figured you and I are both grieving a loss. At least I wouldn’t down your mood.” He suppressed a smile.

“Misery does love company.” I laughed. “That’s fair enough. It was sweet of you to think of your sister when your whole life just got turned upside down.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked carefully when I saw him linger on the word. He looked over  my shoulder to the window behind me. I don’t know what he was staring at, but he fixated on something outside as he began to talk.

“It’s… I don’t know… it’s not how I expected to feel. Well, it is, and it isn’t.” He said still not looking at me.

“I know what you mean.” I said with refreshing honesty.

“I suppose we’ve both gone through the same thing. I know she wasn’t my wife and I know she didn’t exactly die. But I still lost her. Even though I didn’t say the vow, I loved her an entire human lifetime. I was devoted to only her and she to me. She’s alive but everything we were together is gone. It can’t be anymore. I knew it was coming. For years, for decades. Just like you knew he was going to die.” He said, his voice was distant, like he was thinking of a memory or focusing on the feeling of the words rather than the words themselves.

“She did die to you,” I said in understanding. And I saw the tear in one eye finally fall onto his cheek.

“And yet I feel at peace. The grief is there, the anger and the hurt but the overwhelming desire to protect her is still there too. The loyalty and the belief, in her.” He admitted and his voice cracked. “But at the same time, I have the acceptance that this was always going to happen. I’ve been preparing for this for years. Readying myself for the pain and it doesn’t feel as bad as I thought it would,” he added, his voice suddenly stronger. No other tears fell from his eyes. His gaze moved and he looked to me.

“All that preparing, all that fear of the pain, helped you. By preparing for it, you don’t feel it. Not as much as you thought you would,” I agreed. I completely empathised with him in everything he was saying.

“Yeah… its almost… a relief,” he said with a sigh. He let out a breath he probably didn’t realise he was holding as he relaxed into the couch he was sitting on. I smiled at his acceptance and realisation.

“You’ll always love her. She’ll always be a part of you. That’s all that matters. Take the memories of the time you had together and live again.” I said repeating the words that were told to me after my husband died. He sat on those words for a moment before continuing.

“There’s going to be another war. Mia’s imprint is something new. There’s a prophecy. They’re meant to lead an army to defeat evil incarnate. I’m going to have to be by her side. I won’t be able to stand back and leave her unprotected.” His thoughts were jumbled but I made sense out of most of it.

“I’m sure she’ll want you to help with that,” I said with a nod, but the fear sunk in for the lives of my family. Evil incarnate? Were those the shadows in my dream?

“We don’t know what will happen or how long it will last. It could be months it could be years,” he said as he stared at me across the room. I realised now what he was implying. We both weren’t ready to explore our connection, not yet, but one day we would be.

So, I uttered the words back to him he told me as teenagers, and the ones I repeated to him just a few months ago after my husband died.

“When it is over and the day comes when we’re both ready. You know where to find me.”